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Why your relationship is stuck


“Everything’s intentional. It’s just filling in the dots.” – David Byrne

Take a moment and think of the relationships in your life that need your attention.

If we are honest, most of us can think of a few areas that need improvement. In order to become influential in any relationship, you need to be intentional. The fact of the matter is that every relationship that you have ever had is the result of you being intentional in establishing it.

You were intentional in spending time with your future spouse when you wanted to get to know them. You were intentional in getting to work early when you wanted to make a good impression on your new boss. You were intentional in being in shape to impress your coaches when you wanted more playing time. Every relationship began with a decision to be intentional to take it to the next level.

Here are some reasons why your relationships are stuck and what you can do about them.

Reason #1: Stuck in the routine

All of us have been guilty of falling into the routine of life, work, and relationships. Before you know it the people that you were once excited about and spending time with becomes nothing more than ordinary. It takes a lot of hard work and effort to establish relationships, and it will take the same (if not more) effort to maintain it.

Making your relationships successful require focus and intentionality. In order to maintain a good relationship, you need to be intentional with forgiveness, grace, trust and unconditional love.  

Reason #2: Lack of communication

A lack of healthy, open, and honest communication is one of the first things to erode when relationships drift. When people stop sharing their thoughts, dreams, ideas, and even fears they can start to drift from you. Communication is the lifeline to every relationship.

To ensure you are having effective communication make sure you are mindful of little things, i.e., making eye contact, and asking open-ended questions to allow them to share more of their thoughts and feelings. It is also important to remember that listening to them without judgment is more important than expressing your opinions. If you create an environment that allows those close to you to feel comfortable talking to you, then you will see your relationships at home and work get healthier.

Reason #3: Forgetting who they are to you

As life and work go by, it can be easy to get caught up in the tasks of life and work and what the people around you should be doing.  It is sometimes easy to forget who they are to you, and what they mean to you. If it’s a family member, take a moment to remember how much they mean to you before starting a conversation. If it is a person at work, reflect on why you hired them or if a co-worker the value that they offer you and the company.

Reminding yourself of the value of people around you will help you to manage the relationship with the proper amount of time, energy, and commitment.

Be intentional with your relationships and you will see them get unstuck.